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Tuesday, May 08, 2012


fuhh! just done with my statistics assignment. it was quite tough, I guess. huhu. need to work more on my confidence intervals, need more exercise!

well, it's almost 1.00 am and i'm still awake. can't seem to bring myself to sleep. maybe because I woke up at 2pm! haha. it's been a while since I slept for that long.

seriously, there's a lot I want to say, but I don't know why everytime I started writing, I will suddenly went blank. I seem to forgot everything. haiz.

ohhhh! I want to talk about final exam. hoho.

well, final is just 3 weeks away (minus the study week). most of the syllabus are not finished yet. there's still a lot to be learned in organic. we just done with all the chapter in biophysical and almost done with applied statistic. I think we are going to be done with stats within next two week.

I really need to prepare and study as hard as I can. I need to secure atleast 3.8! seriously thinking about taking JPA scholarship. but then my dad did not really approved it since I have to be bounded to the government for 4 years. He wish for me to go on study and take my master, work for a while then get my doctorate.

sounded easy, huh? I barely survived my first year of bachelor degree, and now talking about taking doctorate? grrrr. I should straighten up things first. pass my finals with flying color.

I should refocus my self now. I think that before I'm too dispersed. I don't really focus on studying. I need to give up things like, going out or emotional stuff and focus on my studying. that is what I need to do!

hearing Abah's voice, and his wish really make me realize that there's no time for me to be fooling around. I should have shoved my ass down that chair, start flipping up books and opening up notes and study my ass off! it's my Abah's wish for me to get my first class degree. hearing his proud voice when I said I made the interviews, I managed to score more than 3.00 in my exams, really firing me up. how could I forget that particular proud voice of his? the smiled that plastered on his face the moment he read my degree's offer letter? the moment he knew that his little daughter is going to uni and getting her bachelor degree, the very first in family to get the education that high?

how on earth did I ever forgotten such thing? I shouldn't be thinking about marriage or who I am going to end up with, or what kind of marriage will I go through, or how to convince my family to let me get married early, or stuffs like that. All this while I have been stuffing my mind with that kind of thought, worrying unnecessarily about those things, instead of worrying about my study.

well, I need to re-establish myself. this is no time to think about wedding or spouse or emotional attachment, or LOVE. All I need to think now is how to fulfilled my parent's wish. make them proud. they are everything to me. I owed them my life, I should have been working my ass off and start paying my debt to them by studying! I can go on and live if I was destined to be single for the rest of my life (nauzubillah) but I can't if I have to spend it without my parents (nauzubillah) and without Allah.

I should re-focus and find my momentum back and aced that final!

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ha! melawan.


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